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The Royal Rules



  1. No Goede. There is no circumstance in which Brendon Goede may play. You can never be too rude in order to save everyone from being plauged by the presence of Goede. Because no one can touch Goede, he cannot be allowed to play. This rule is zero tolerance.1a. "Chain of Disgust" Anyone who would tell Goede about the game or invite him to play will not be allowed to play. This rule is zero tolerance.
  2. Downs. Buscoball will have five (5) downs (one for each dip in the marinara sauce).
  3. Heading. The fifth down requires the offense to "head" the ball to the opposing team. A head is defined as striking the ball of the head of a player. There are no fumbles on a head. The heading player may not touch the ball on the head to avoid unsatisfying head...actions.Part 2 The person who heads the ball may not be the one who touches it to stop play.
  4. Passing. The only acceptable passing is throught the legs.
  5. Completion. A complete pass is defined as the player recieving the ball touches the ball. If the ball hits the ground before it touches a player, the ball is considered dead.
  6. Fumbles. Any player may pick up a fumbled ball (defined as a ball that was dropped after possession or has touched the reciever's hands in any way). 
  7. "Buscoback". The equivalent of a quarterback in American football. The player designated as Buscoback for the play has five (audibly) counted "Mississippi" seconds to throw the ball. The Buscoback may not cross the line of play with the ball. This means no sneaks/defensive blitzes.
  8. Teams. The official teams will always be boys vs. girls (as per tradition of the first game). Any co-ed game will not be counted as regular season and will be considered an exhibition game. 8a. Dave Fleischer will always be considered a regular member of the Girl's Team.
  9. Contact. The game will be full-contact. If the ability to play full-contact is in doubt, the player will either be given special status for certain plays, or be the much-appreciated photographer.
  10. Scoring. Every time the ball reaches the Buscozone, four points are added to the teams score. (Reasoning is that four Bosco sticks come in a bag).
  11. Continued play. Play is continued until the ball is dead or the player in possesion is tackled.
  12. Captains. The team captains will have the power to overrule calls after conferring with one another. The captains have equal power. (Current captains are Jason Lee and Elise Blankenship).
  13. Safety issues. There will be no tackles above the shoulders.
  14. Lewd Actions. There shall be no "Brenting" of anything, ever.
  15. Goal Scoring. The Boy's team may not fumble in the Buscozone.
  16. Safety Issues pt. 2. On a head or a fumble, there shall be no intentional kicking of the ball. A penalty of 5 Akshata Steps shall be imposed on the offending team.
  17. Penalties. A penalty will be observed if there is a violation of the rules. The general penalty is 5 Akshata steps, or a reasonable facsimile if Akshata isn't in attendence. A greater penalty may be charged if the offense is serious enough.

 

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Did you know? The official rules possibly descended directly from God.